After the hockey game, Dave leaves a sober message for Kathy. The next night's bachelor party lives up to it's promise of reckless behavior.
INT. DAVE’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Dave enters. He is just returning from the hockey game. He throws his keys to where the hall table used to be, only to have the keys hit the ground and slide across the floor and disappear under the old couch.
Dave sighs. He walks into the kitchen, opens the fridge and finds no beer. He walks back to the living room, passing the phone on the floor. He sits on the couch, but there is no TV to watch.
After a moment, he gets up and goes over to the phone. He pauses, then dials.
DAVEHi Kathy, it’s me, Dave. Hope you’re
doing okay. Listen, I was just
hanging out, and I thought maybe, if
you weren’t busy, or were in the
mood, we could have one of those
“dates” you were talking about. I,
uh, don’t know if you remember
your terms, but I could make dinner
and if you wanted to, “stay after”
that would be okay. I mean, if you
wanted to. Anyway, you know how to
get a hold of me and I ’ll leave the
door unlocked if you get this
message late. So I look forward to…
The machine cuts him off with a BEEP.
DAVE (CONT’D)Well , that could have been
INT. ALLY’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Ally enters. Her arms are full with her guitar case, a long jacket, shoulder bag etc. She is rushing to get to the phone before the message cuts off , but enters the room just as the beep is heard.
Ally puts down her stuff, hangs up her coat and plays the messages. The first message begins to play. It is a call from a nightclub. Kathy is shouting over the trob of loud dance music.
KATHY (ON PHONE)Hey Babe, you are such a loser! Why
aren’t you out here tonight! Woo
Hoo! The guys are so fucking hot!
Here, talk to Peter…
We hear giggling and muffled talk as Kathy hands the phone over to
some guy she just met.
PETER (ON PHONE)Hi Ally, Kathy says you’re hot. You
should come down to The Oasis and
we could get together. I bet you’ve
got a rockin’ ass. I’d sure like to…
Ally quickly hits the delete button to avoid hearing what this stranger would l ike to do to her ass.
The second message begins to play. It is Dave’s message to Kathy. Ally listens and smiles a little. She plays it again. She goes to get a pad of paper and her guitar and plays it again. She begins to write a song using Dave’s message as the lyrics.
EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS - DAY
Dave and Steve are walking across campus carrying coffee.
STEVEC’mon, you have to go.
STEVEYou have to stop moping around and
get over her. It ’l l be fun.
DAVEI can’t . I’m way behind on work. I’ve
got papers to grade and, I ’m not
getting any research done.
They pass a trio of co-eds on their way to class. Steve nearly breaks his neck turning around to ogle the girls as they go.
DAVE (CONT’D)Why are you always here? Don’t you
have a job anymore?
STEVEI’m taking a break. Kind of a
transition to a new venture. Besides...
I like the scenery.
A shapely co-ed jogs past them and gives Steve a smile. He watches her and falls into a bike rack. The harder Steve struggles to get up, the more tangled he gets in the bikes, cables etc.
STEVE (CONT’D)Well , are you going to help me up?
DAVEI’m considering. Hey, look at this…
Dave sees a flyer taped to a lamp pole advertising for a local coffee house. A small crowd has gathered around Steve.
STEVEMove along people. There’s nothing
to see here.
A student from Dave’s class approaches Dave. He is wearing a varsity football jacket.
STUDENTDo you need a hand Professor
DAVEOh, Parker, yes, can you help this
vagrant up before he wrecks
STUDENTSure. C’mon guys.
The student is joined by two other football players. They grab Steve and lift him with such ease, he is nearly flung across the path. Dave hands Steve the flier.
DAVEHere, Allison, Kathy’s old friend is
playing guitar at The Beanery.
DAVEAnd Kathy might be there. I should
go see her. Maybe I could get her to
have Kathy call me.
STEVENo way. If she’s Kathy’s friend, then
she must be just as big a bitch.
They travel in packs.
Steve crumples up the flier and tosses it in a trash can.
STEVE (CONT’D)What you should do is come out
with us tonight and get some lap
DAVEOkay, okay. Jesus, you’re not going
to leave me alone about it anyway.
STEVEThat’s the spirit . Take your mind of
the whole thing by letting the little
head do some thinking.
Another hot co-ed passes Steve and giggles.
(calling after the girl )It’s not that little. It’s just an
expression. Like ‘let’s do lunch’ or
DAVEOr ‘Restraining Order’.
INT. STRIP CLUB - NIGHT
We see a crowded Wednesday night at the local strip club. It is dark, crowded and throbbing with cheesy dance music. Three small platforms each have a girl in lingerie gyrating around a pole. In the corner we see the stag party including the groom in a striped prison shirt . There is much hooting and hollering from this group in contrast to the creepy, low energy leering from the rest of the patrons lining the stage edge.
Dave, Steve, Toynebee and Picken enter.
M.C. (ON LOUDSPEAKER)Gentlemen, let put your hands
together for our featured performer,
the reigning Miss Nude Wyoming,
the luscious Desire Delight!
A voluptuous girl in a slutty nurse uniform struts out on stage and begins her act .
TOYNEBEEYou gotta love culture.
Steve and Dave head over to the stag group, but Toynebee and Picken are transfixed by Miss Nude Wyoming.
STEVEHey John. You remember my buddy
Dave? He’s the one I was telling you
JOHNYou bet. Good to see you. Sorry to
hear about your kick in the crotch.
DAVEThanks. Are you sure us being here
is okay with your bother?
JOHNEverything’s been alright with Glen
for about an hour now.
We see the groom in the prison shirt getting a lap dance. He is a heartbeat away from passing out but is valiantly trying to stuff a dollar bill in the girl ’s thong. Steve hands Dave two beers.
STEVEHere. We’ve got some catching up to do.
John hands Dave a shot glass of some very questionable looking liquor.
JOHNThen you’ll need one of these too.
Dave shrugs and drinks the shooter. A second is thrust in his hand. From behind Dave appears a stripper with Picken and Toynebee.
PICKEN & TOYNEBEEThis is for you buddy.
The girl licks Dave’s ear before sliding down the side of his leg as she begins her private dance. Dave drinks the second shooter and the evening is underway.
INT. STRIP CLUB – NIGHT. VARIOUS
The evening becomes a sequence of lights, drinks, faces, boobs etc. as Dave gets hammered.
INT. STRIP CLUB – NIGHT.
Dave is in a booth with several ladies. Picken has long since passed out. Toynebee is at the next table involved in what appears to be a very intense conversation with some old drunk.
Dave notices a cell phone on the table and dials Kathy. He gets her voicemail message.
KATHY (ON PHONE)Hi , I’m not in right not so leave me
DAVEHey Kath, Kat , Kitty Kat, this is Big
Daddy. There’s girls here and their
naked and you know what? I love
the big boobies, and there’s big
boobies in my face right now.
Waddya think of that? Oh and news
flash for you, belly button rings are
all the rage. You should get one. I’ll
ask Tiffany here where she got hers?
And you know what else? You had it
pretty good with me. And I always
got you off even though you said my
prick was too small . So here’s
Mister Tiny prick saying good bye
‘cause I have to get back to the big
boobies. Mmm, big boobies.
Dave hangs up and puts the phone back on the table. Steve appears with a tray of shooters.
STEVEWho you calling?
DAVEI can’t remember.
The party continues and the lights and colors until it eventually fades to black.