Thursday, July 31, 2008

Part 5 - Dave Morgan: Man of Action

(Please read the previous parts before reading this posting)

Part 1 - Dave Gives Kathy Some Time and Space

Part 2 - Kathy Moves On But Dave Needs a Push

Part 3 - A Day at the Campus, A Night at the Strip Club

Part 4 - A Cute Meet Before the Scales Fall


Dave has remembered the horrible contents of his phone message and must do something, anything, to keep Karen from hearing it.

EXT. CITY STREET – DAY.
Dave is half running, half walking to get back to his apartment to consult with his buddies. He is not doing a very good job of avoiding other pedestrians.

EXT/INT. PICKEN’S BEAT-UP RV – DAY.
Picken has parked his RV in front of Dave’s bui lding. The four friends are inside discussing what Dave can do about the message. Picken and Toynebee both look l ike they are in pretty rough shape. Dave is pacing the room (as much as you can in an RV) , frantic with worry.

TOYNEBEE
Are you sure you called Kathy?


STEVE
Good point. You could have left that
message with anyone, your boss,
your mother. There’s an infinite
possibility of embarrassing
situations, many, frankly which are
far worse than your ex-girl friend.

DAVE
You’re not helping.

PICKEN
What if you called an old teacher?

TOYNEBEE
Good point. You are the kind of guy
who stays in touch.

DAVE
Let’s try and limit this to calling
people I actually know the phone
number for.

PICKEN
I’m just saying it ’s possible.

TOYNEBEE
Are you sure you really said
anything bad?

DAVE
I can’t remember exactly, but there
was something about liking big tits
and belly button rings on strippers.

PICKEN
Is it true?

DAVE
That I said that?

PICKEN
No, that you like big tits and belly
button piercings?

DAVE
Yeah, I guess.

STEVE
Then where’s the harm? At least you
weren’t lying – like you l iked big
butts or back tattoos, unless you
like those things too.

TOYNEBEE
We just want you to be true to
yourself man.

PICKEN
Yeah, It's too hard to live a lie.
Trust me.

DAVE
This is a nightmare. Look, are you
going to help me get into the
apartment and get the tape back or
not?

STEVE
Normally I ’d jump at the chance to
break into some girls apartment,
but I’ve got a meeting with a T-shirt
wholesaler this afternoon.

PICKEN
New venture?

STEVE
Yup. Offensive novelty shirts

PICKEN
Nice.

DAVE
Toynebee?

TOYNEBEE
Can’t . I’m going to Florida
tomorrow.

DAVE
You’re 31. How can you still go on
Spring Break?

TOYNEBEE
Girls, beer and sun. Any more
questions?

PICKEN
I’d l ike to help, but I ’d just screw it
up.

DAVE
True. So I’m on my own?

The three friends all nod.

DAVE (CONT’D)
Remember there’s no "I" in team.

PICKEN
But there is one in “quit”.

EXT. ALLY’S APARTMENT BUILDING – DAY.
Dave is standing outside a three story brick apartment building looking up. He realizes he doesn’t actually have a plan. He steps towards the front door and scans for Ally’s name.
He presses the BUZZER and there’s no answer – that ’s a good sign.

An elderly lady approaches the front door, unlocks it and enters. As the door swings, Dave grabs it to come in after her, but she blocks the entrance with her cane.

ELDERLY LADY
I can’t just let you in, Young Man.

DAVE
It’s okay, I’m visiting a friend.

ELDERLY LADY
Then they can buzz you in.

She tries to pull the door shut, but Dave has a tight grip on it .

DAVE
They can't. You see it's supposed
to be a surprise.

ELDERLY LADY
Then you’ll have top make other
arrangements. We have rules you
know. How do I know you’re not a
terrorist or a drug mule?

DAVE
(pulling on the door)
I’m a college professor, lady.
ELDERLY LADY
Then you should be in school.

She WHACKS his hand with her cane. Dave recoils in pain and the door swings shut. Clutching his throbbing hand, Dave turns to walk down the steps. A small crowd of onlookers had gathered
watching his argument. An audible MURMUR of disgust can be heard as Dave walks past them.

EXT. ALLY’S APARTMENT BUILDING REAR – DAY.
Dave goes around back to climb the fire escape. He can’t jump to reach so begins to build a pile of boxes and trash. He climbs and is just at the top of the rickety with his finger tips touching the
bottom rung.

A couple of 13 year old boys dressed in baggy pants and hoodies come down the alley. They see Dave on his tower and KICK out the key bottom piece. Dave JUMPS as the tower TOPPLES, just grabbing the bottom rung in time. He scrambles up the rest of the way. The kids walk away laughing.

Once on the platform, Dave counts across and up the building to identi fy Ally’s apartment. He goes to her window and looks in. Dave tries to lift the window but nothing moves. He moves over and finds a window that does open. He climbs in.

INT. BATHROOM – DAY.
On the counter Dave sees Metamucil , Men’s shaving cream and an assortment of medication one would not relate to two young women sharing an apartment. Before he can turn and climb back out, he sees the door knob TURN.

BATHROOM MAN (OFF CAMERA)
If I’m not out in 2 hours send a
search party, Susan.

SUSAN (O.C.)
Just make sure you open a window.

The door opens and a heavy-set man in his late fifties enters, just as Dave ducks into the shower.
BATHROOM MAN
( laughing)
I just wish I hadn’t eaten all that
Indian Food at lunch.

He shuts the door and makes a big production of taking down his pants. The man sits and begins his activities.

CUT TO:

INT. BATHROOM SHOWER INTERIOR– DAY.
Standing behind the shower curtain, Dave hears the man begin his big, smelly, noisy dump. We see Dave struggle with the smell. It is nearly unbearable. We hear the SNAP and FOLD of the newspaper indicating this may be a while.

Time passes.

Finally the toilet flushes. Dave is nearly catatonic with disgust.

SUSAN (O.C.)
You better have a shower.
Remember we’re going to my sister’s
for dinner.

BATHROOM MAN
Why should I? She’s the one who
needs a bath.
(muttering)
A flea bath.

SUSAN (O.C.)
Just have a shower.

BATHROOM MAN
Alright, alright. Can you put out my
robe?

Without looking, the man sticks his hand behind the curtain just missing Dave and turns on the cold.

SUSAN (O.C.)
It’s on the bed.

BATHROOM MAN
Is it too much to ask to bring it?
Hello? Susan? Damn.

INT. BATHROOM – DAY.
The man opens the door and leaves. Dave emerges from the shower soaking wet, climbs out the window and leaves.

The man comes back in wearing his robe, followed by Susan.

SUSAN
What is wrong with you. There’s
water everyplace. I’m going to have
to spend an hour cleaning this mess
because you can’t operate a shower
curtain. Honestly!

Susan turns and leaves. The man just stands staring at the puddles of water everywhere.

EXT. FIRE ESCAPE - DAY
Dave is just going to quit and climb down. Shivering, he walks past Ally’s window. She sees him and RAPS on the glass. He gives a half-hearted wave. Ally unlocks the window and pulls it up.

ALLY
Wow. Twice in one day. I’d think you
were stalking me if I didn’t know
you were here to see Kathy? Why are
you all wet?

DAVE
Slip and Slide.

ALLY
What?
DAVE
On the way over these kids had a
sl ip and sl ide going and I couldn’t
resist.
ALLY
Oh. How old are you?
DAVE
Apparently too old according to their
father who threatened to cal l the
cops on me.
ALLY
Well you better come in and dry off .
Dave climbs in the window dripping water everywhere.
INT. ALLY’S APARTMENT - DAY
The apartment looks no more moved into that when we last saw it.
ALLY
Let me get you a towel .

She leaves the room. Dave scans the room looking for the answering machine. He walks around quickly and finds it but not in time to get the tape out.
ALLY
Here. You’re getting water everywhere
Dave. Just stay in one place till
you’re dry okay?
DAVE
Sorry. You wouldn’ t have anything
dry I could wear would you?
ALLY
(skeptically)
I’l l see what I can find. Just stay
there. On the mat.
She leaves again. Quickly Dave tries to get the tape out, but can’t seem to manage it. The door won’t open. He picks the machine up, but his fingers are stiff from the cold water and he drops it with a clatter.
Ally comes out of the bedroom with a folded pink track suit.
ALLY
What was that?
DAVE
I knocked over the answering
machine. Sorry. I hope I didn’t
break the tape or anything.
ALLY
Oh, it’s a memory chip. Nobody has
tapes anymore. Where have you
been Caveman? Actually, you have
to hear this drunk message. It’s the
funniest thing.
Ally presses the button.
COMPUTER VOICE
You have one old message. Message
one:
DAVE
Ally, about the message. I can
explain.
ALLY
( interrupting)
Shh!
KATHY (ON MACHINE)
Hey Babe, you are such a loser! Why
aren’t you out here tonight! Woo
Hoo! The guys are so fucking hot!
Here, talk to Peter…
Ally presses “Stop”.
ALLY
And it goes on from there. I think
I’m going to keep that and use it at
her wedding or something.
DAVE
Good one.
ALLY
Try these on, best I could do.
Dave takes the armload of clothes and heads to the bathroom.
INT. ALLY’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
It is now evening and Dave and Ally are on the couch talking and drinking wine. Dave is wearing a pink “Juicy” sweat suit that is too small for him. They have obviously been talking for hours when we join them in mid conversation.
ALLY
And my mother is the biggest
hypochondriac, constantly
diagnosing herself to make hersel
feel special .
( in funny voice)
I need adequate leg room for my
feet; I have plantars faceitious. The
doctors won’t confirm the diagnosis,
but I ’m sure I also have
fibromyalgia, which is an
exceptionally painful condition. I am

in constant agony. They’ve never
seen anything l ike it.

DAVE
My dad’s that way about mythical
food allergies. “I can’t have that
thing you talked about. Pita? That
sounds too exotic. You and that
damned foreign food. My stomach
can’t tolerate anything unusual . If I
eat pineapple, my mouth gets sore.”
Dad, it’s an acidic fruit. Don’t eat
the whole thing. Or at least take the skin
off.
Ally laughs. And checks her watch.
ALLY
Can you bel ieve it’s after seven?
Your clothes must be dry.
DAVE
You hungry?
ALLY
Starved, and maybe a little drunk.
DAVE
Let’s go grab a bite.
ALLY
Do you want to change?
DAVE
(shaking his rear as
he stands)
What? You don’t like my ass in
these?
Dave walks to the bathroom to put his clothes back on but stops at the door.
DAVE (CONT’D)
Hey, how come we never dated in
school?
ALLY
Well , you were kind of a dork, and
you were in love with my friend.
DAVE
You knew?
ALLY
Dave, everybody knew.
DAVE
Oh.
ALLY
Plus I was kind of a bitch, which
didn’t help. So get going. Strip out of
those sweats, J.Lo. I need some pizza.

6 comments:

Mama Dawg said...

This is shaping up nicely. Keep 'em coming.

I haven't quite figured out the females in this scenario. Selma Blair for Kathy, maybe? I dunno.

I still think Paul Rudd would be the perfect Dave.

Trooper Thorn said...

I like playing that game too: "Who Would I Cast?"

Paul Rudd is bang on. Selma Blair is a good call for Kathy, or the psychic from "Over Her Dead Body".

Who have you got for Ally?

Thank you for the continued great comments Mama D.

sassy stephanie said...

...waiting for 6.

iMommy said...

Oooh, when's the next part!!!???

Mama Dawg said...

Not to be trite, but maybe a soft blonde (none of that bleached blond w/dark roots kind) or a strawberry blonde. I'll have to think on that one.

only a movie said...

Good call on Paul Rudd. :-)