This is the morning after the big Strip Club Club Drunken Call.
INT. DAVE’S APARTMENT - DAY
Dave wakes up around noon. He GROANS and sits up. He is still wearing the same clothes from last night except he now also sports a very frilly (and slutty) bra around his neck. Toynebee is sprawled in the bed with him. On the on the floor is Picken. Dave slowly staggers to the bedroom door, careful not to trip over the comatose Picken.
In the living room Steve is awake, sitting in boxers multitasking: eating cereal out of the box, watching cartoons and checking his messages on his BlackBerry. He appears to be perfectly fine and regales Dave about the great night.
STEVESome night huh?
DAVEYeah, I guess.
( looking at his Blackberry)They still can’t find Glen.
STEVEThe groom… from the stag… last
DAVEI don’ t remember anything… I don’t
even remember breakfast yesterday
I’m so hungover.
STEVEI made some food in the kitchen.
DAVEI don’ t think I can eat anything.
The kitchen is a war zone. Steve has used nearly every pot and pan. Steam is rising from a pot on the stove that has spaghetti noodles escaping over the top, sauce is spattered on the cupboards and there are scrambled eggs on the counter.
(to himself)Now I know I can’t eat anything.
Dave steps back into the living room.
DAVE (CONT’D)Want to go get some coffee Steve? I don’t
have class today.
Dave glances into to bedroom and sees Toynebee and Picken asleep.
DAVE (CONT’D)And it looks like The Twins won’t be
up for hours.
Dave throws a ball cap on over his messy hair and they leave.
INT. COFFEE SHOP - DAY
Dave and Steve enter The Beanery, a hip urban coffee bar.
STEVESo I said to my dad, “just because
you hire and illegal alien as your
gardener doesn’t make you a
DAVEBut he thinks Klansmen are
moderate if they cut bigger holes in
their hoods for the eyes.
They line up behind a woman taking a long time to order.
COFFEE WOMANBut I can’t have the latte because
I’m lactose intolerant.
COFFEE CLERKFine Ma’am. We can make it with
COFFEE WOMANAnd then there’s the mad cow
COFFEE CLERKLike I said, we’ll make it with soya.
COFFEE WOMANMaybe I’ll just have a tea. It ’s
She produces a cigarette from inside her coat and proceeds to light it.
COFFEE CLERKMa’am, you can’t smoke in here.
Oh for Heaven’s Sake. Tobacco is organic.
She leaves the line up and heads to the door.
STEVEYup some night. We’ll have to do
that again. Hey, where’s my cell
phone. Did I leave it at your place?
DAVEI don’ t know.
STEVECall it and see if someone has it?
DAVEYou know I don’ t have a cell phone.
You bug me every week about it.
STEVEWho’s did you use last night?
DAVEI didn’t make a call last night. At
least, not one I remember.
They finally order their coffees and turn to leave.
Ally appears from a room in the back and walks towards a little raised stage. Dave stops and stares at her in puzzled recognition. Ally fumbles with the microphone and when she turns to adjust her stool, the guitar knocks over the mic stand. The crowd laughs and Ally flushes red.
Dave rushes to the stage to help her get set up.
DAVEAlly, don’t you remember me?
(she thinks)Um, Dave. Wow. You look…good.
Better than I remember.
DAVEYou too. I mean, you look good, not
better. I mean, you could look
better. I mean you always looked
ALLYThanks. I think that was a
DAVEIs Kathy here?
ALLYI don’ t want to talk about her right
DAVEOh. Okay. I know how you feel .
STEVEC’mon Dave I got to go.
DAVEYou remember Ally Burns, Kathy’s
STEVEYeah, ‘Hi . ’ You coming Dave?
DAVEI think I ’m going to stay and listen.
STEVEFine. I’ll see you later.
Ally is flattered that Dave will stay to listen when his friend was so anxious to go.
ALLYI, um, have to play now.
DAVESure, sure. Go ahead.
Ally sings her set ( in montage) . We hear one that sounds a lot like Dave’s sad phone message from the other day. After she plays, Dave approaches the stage while she packs up.
DAVEThat was terrific. And I don’t even
like that kind of music.
ALLYThanks. And what kind of music
would that be?
(embarrassed)Um, you know, the good kind.
DAVEI really liked that one where the guy
calls asking for another chance.
ALLYYou should. You were the
ALLYYou called and left the message for
Kathy on her machine. I heard it .
You really need to be careful about
leaving messages you never know
who will hear it.
CUT TO:INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY. CLOSE UP OF DAVE
Dave has suddenly remembered his phone cal l from the strip club last night. Not all of it, but enough to know that what he has done is bad and he needs to do something, anything, to retrieve that message.
We see a montage of the night’s drunken behavior and slow motion, repeats of him saying things like “Big Boobies” and “Tiny Prick”.
CUT TO:INT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY.
(panicked)I have to go.
ALLYYou sure? We could grab a…
( interrupting)No, I really have to go.
Dave stumbles as he tries to navigate the narrow confines of the café aisles.
DAVE (CONT’D)Good to see you though. Really
great. We’ll have to do it again. Real
Dave leaves the coffee shop and almost immediately burst back in.
DAVE (CONT’D)Where did you say Kathy was?
ALLYI didn’t . She’s won’ t be back from a
trip to the coast for at least a week.
Dave leaves the coffee shop without saying thanks or good bye.
ALLY (CONT’D)There’s a guy who should stick to