Sunday, August 17, 2008

Part 11 - The Price of Fame

(Please read the previous parts before reading this posting)
Part 1 - Dave Gives Kathy Some Time and Space
Part 2 - Kathy Moves On But Dave Needs a Push
Part 3 - A Day at the Campus, A Night at the Strip Club
Part 4 - A Cute Meet Before the Scales Fall
Part 5 - Dave Morgan: Man of Action
Part 6 - And the Band Played On
Part 7 - You Win Some, You Lose a Few More
Part 8 - The Mexican Standoff
Part 9 - There's Never a Cop Around When you Need One
Part 10 - No Family Room in the Octagon

Dave can't simply enjoy his newfound relationship with Ally while the Show Biz Siren keeps calling.

INT. DAVE’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
The light in the room is very low, cast only by a single lamp that now has Ally’s blouse draped over it. Strewn about the floor by the couch are other items of clothes: Dave’s khakis, Ally’s jeans, a pair of boxers.

There is a loud KNOCK on the door.

STEVE (O.C.)
Dave! Dave, open the door.
A very startled looking Dave emerges from under a blanket on the couch.
DAVE
Huh?
The knocking has turned to POUNDING.
STEVE (O.C.)
C’mon man open up.
We can hear someone else has come into the hallway.
STEVE (O.C.)
Oh, hey, hey Ma’am? Excuse me. Do
you know if Dave Morgan is home? -
- The man who lives here?

Pause. There are inaudible MURMURINGS from in the hallway.
STEVE (O.C.)
Then what the hell good are you?
Stop wasting my time.
We hear high-pitched INDIGNATION.
STEVE (O.C.)
Oh nice, very ladylike. You touch
your grandkids with that finger?
Steve bangs on the door again. Dave rises and tries to pull the blanket with him, to cover up, but
we now see Ally trying to pull it back to keep covered.
ALLY
Hey!
DAVE
Sorry.
Dave reaches down and fumbles for his boxers. Pull ing on a T-shirt, he walks to the door. Dave opens the door and Steve BARGES into the apartment already in mid-sentence.
STEVE
…will be here first thing in the
morning so you’ll need to be ready.
How long will it take you to pack?
DAVE
Pack? What for? What will be here
first thing?
STEVE
The cab.
Dave looks blankly at his frenzied buddy.
STEVE (CONT’D)
The cab to take us to the airport.
Don’t you ever check your phone
messages?
DAVE
I don’ t want to talk about phone
messages.

Steve begins to throw articles of clothing off the coffee table looking for the answering machine. He has not yet looked at the blanket covered body but greets Ally like it is no big deal she is
under there naked.
STEVE
Hi Ally.
Ally pul ls down a corner of the blanket revealing her face surrounded by obvious post-sex hair.
ALLY
Hi Steve.
She rises from the couch, carefully wrapping the blanket around her.
ALLY (CONT’D)
Dave, I think I’m gonna go.
She grabs her jeans and the shirt off the lamp and heads for the bathroom.
DAVE
Thanks a lot Steve . You have really
lousy timing. Why are you always here
anyway? I should start making you
chip in on rent. You are the worst
non-roommate I ever had.
Steve has found the answering machine a PRESSES the button.
STEVE (ON ANSWERING MACHINE)
Hey Buddy. Pack your bags. You and
I are flying all expenses paid to LA
to be on the Tonight Show. Call me
when you get this message.
The message ends with a BEEP and Steve’s voice is heard again.
STEVE (ON ANSWERING MACHINE)
Dave. Pick up man. You need to let
me know about the trip.
Again the message ends with a BEEP and Steve’s voice is heard again.
STEVE (ON ANSWERING MACHINE)
Dammit Dave. Answer your fucking
phone!
Steve starts hitting the button deleting messages.
STEVE
And it goes on like that for a while.
So what are you waiting for? Let’s
go.
Ally emerges from the bathroom put back together and looking sexy.
ALLY
Where are you going?
STEVE
Dave is going to the a guest on Leno
tomorrow.
DAVE
No I’m not. I’m not going to give this
stupid thing anymore airtime. It’s
ruining my life.
STEVE
What are you talking about. This
may be the greatest thing that ever
happened to you. To any of us.
DAVE
It’s no where near the greatest
thing…
Dave looks longingly at Ally. She smiles.
DAVE (CONT’D)
And what do you mean “us”, Steve?
STEVE
C’mon, don’t talk to your agent like
that.
DAVE
Agent?
STEVE
Yeah. I worked out a real sweet
deal. They wanted you to be on a
lame show with kid inventors and
some crappy alt rock band. Thanks
to me, you follow Jenny McCarthy
and the musical guest is Foo
Fighters. This gig will break “Big
Daddy” wide open.
DAVE
Since when are you my agent? Can’t
you decide on a job? 15 years I’ve
known you and you can’t do the
same thing for more than 6 months.
Now go home.
ALLY
I think you should do it.
Both men are stunned.
DAVE & STEVE
What?
ALLY
You heard me. This is a once in a
lifetime chance. So it’s not a chance
you ever wanted. Big deal . The
opportunity has presented itself.
You could turn the whole crazy
thing into a positive.
DAVE
Are you sure? All my students will
see it. The Dean, the rest of the
faculty…
ALLY
All I know is you never get many
breaks, especial ly in show business.
So fine, you don’t want to be a
celebrity, interest in you will fade
whether you choose to participate or
not. But you can decide how you
want to be remembered. And you
never know where it might lead.
STEVE
I knew I liked this girl . So what do
you say? Can I call Leno’s people?
DAVE
(with resignation)
What time do we leave?
INT. TELEVISION STUDIO – NIGHT
The Tonight Show Band is playing during a commercial break. Jay Leno and his guest Jenny McCarthy are cracking each other up when they come back from commercial.
JAY LENO
Okay. Many of you will know our
next guest as the voice of the most
downloaded ringtone of all time. Is
that really a category we’re tracking
now? So let’s put a face to the voice.
Please welcome Big Daddy himself,
Dave Morgan.
The band plays “Call Me” by Blondie as Dave cautiously comes around the curtain. The audience gives him enthusiastic APPLAUSE as Jay walks forward to shake Dave’s hand. Dave continues on to the desk where he reaches to shake Jenny McCarthy’s hand but she surprises him by leaning in for a big Hollywood hug.
Dave is caught with his free hand pressed up against her chest. As she pulls back, he accidentally rips her microphone clip from her blouse.
LENO
I guess you really do like the Big
Boobies.
The audience laughs. Dave embarrassedly tries to reattach the microphone only to have it appear he is still groping her. McCarthy seems to enjoy the attention.
DAVE
I’m so sorry. That was an accident.
Here, let me get this back on.
JENNY MCCARTHY
I haven’t been fondled this much
since Hef lost his glasses in the
grotto. And he wears contacts.

The audience laughs. A sound technician appears on stage and expertly shoves Dave out of the way as he reattaches the microphone.
Dave sits down.
DAVE
I apologize. I don’t know what
happened.
LENO
Don’t worry about it. It doesn’t look
like she minded too much.
JENNY MCCARTHY
I won’t be pressing charges if that ’s
what you mean.
The audience laughs.
INT. PICKEN’S BEAT-UP RV – RV.
Picken and Toynebee are watching the show on a little TV.
TOYNEBEE
Nice.
They high five each other.
INT. TELEVISION STUDIO – NIGHT
LENO
Now doing voice over work isn’t your
regular job. You’re a college
professor, right?
DAVE
Yes.
LENO
Did you want to give a shout out to
your students.
DAVE
I’d rather not say which school if
that’s okay.
LENO
Is it sex ed you teach?
DAVE
No, Cultural Anthropology.
JENNY MCCARTHY
(flirty)
I bet you are the most popular
teacher on campus.
INT. COLLEGE DORM COMMON ROOM – NIGHT
The common room is packed with kids on couches, chairs and sitting on the floor watching the broadcast . They are all wearing Steve’s novelty T-shirts, each with a di fferent ring tone slogan.
They cheer when McCarthy says Dave is popular.
INT. TELEVISION STUDIO – NIGHT
DAVE
Um, I ’m not sure, there is
sometimes a waiting list but it
always seems like there are plenty
of empty seats after the first week
or so. I try not to take that
personally.
The audience laughs.
LENO
Now I’d like you to tell us how you
came to be the person we hear
everyday when our cellphones ring…
DAVE
I wish I knew.
LENO
But for those people who aren’t
aware of your claim to fame, We’ve
put together a little sampling of
your work.
DAVE
Oh please, don’t play…
RECORDED VOICE
“I love the big boobies.”
“Hey Kat , Kitty Kat .”
“This is Big Daddy.”
“Belly button rings are all the rage”
The audience is laughing riotously. Dave is holding his face in his hands.
LENO
And I think this one is my personal
favorite.
RECORDED VOICE
"There’s big boobies in my face right
now."
Jenny McCarthy stands and turns to Dave, giving him a little dance whipping the audience into a frenzy. The band beings to PLAY “Cherry Pie” by Poison as she mimics a stripper. Leno starts clapping in time to the music.
DAVE
Please sit down.
McCarthy reaches down, takes Dave by the hands and pulls him to his feet. He stands awkwardly as she dances around him like he’s a pole.
INT. ALLY’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Ally is watching Dave’s performance and turns off the television with some disgust. Her telephone RINGS.
ALLY
Hello? Oh Hi Mom. No he is
definitely not my boyfriend.
FADE OUT.

8 comments:

greedygrace said...

Ugh! I'm annoyed now! Why is she mad? He's obviously not enjoying himself, and she's the one who told him to go! There's no reason for her to get upset. Can't wait to hear what happens next!

Mama Dawg said...

Oh, no, Ally...don't be that way! Nice touch with Jenny McCarthy by the way.

Keep 'em coming!

Trooper Thorn said...

Grace and Mama D: With the greatest respect to Ally, there would be no entertaining stories without misunderstandings and irrational behavior. What would Three's Company have been like if Jack and Mister Roper didn't hear half a conversation through the door and assume Chrissy and/or Janet was pregnant?

Mama Dawg said...

Good point, but still....

iMommy said...

Oh, no, I can't find Chapter 10! I get a page can't be found error :-( Help? I want to read the rest!

Jennifer P. said...

Hope Jenny McCarthy goes along for the ride.... :)

Mandi said...

Hey trooper, thanks for your comments, yeah I know its been a while, I will try and post something new later today. I have been keeping up to date with your new postings, love them - cant wait to see how Ally justifies her upset???? Interesting twist, but hey I know you will blow us away, yet again!!!

Shannon said...

Uh oh... poor Dave! When is this guy going to catch a break? :)